How to Be a Professional Reality Show Contestant

Recognize Marcus Foy? Well, I did. In the midst of my binge of watching "I Love New York" and "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" intermittently, I realized that this guy is what is known fondly in the business as a "reality whore." I recognized him from "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency," as well as work he'd done on another short-lived reality television series, "Survival of the Richest." Those are the individuals, struggling actors and musicians, who pepper our blind date and makeover shows as they attempt to make their way up the ladder in the entertainment industry. Some may argue that they're destroying the credibility of reality television. I say, let's embrace it! Stop leaving reality to the amateurs! I prefer to have my reality television experience be guided by someone who knows the ropes, speaks in sound bytes and isn't afraid to jump on top of a chair or two, to make a point. With that, please enjoy this dissertation--which includes a heartfelt rap, that cleverly rhymes "Asian" with "Black Caucasian"--as delivered by Mr. Foy.