How Come This Bitch Gets FOUR Birthday Parties?

Damn, 34’s not a special number! It’s not 35! It’s not 30! It’s not even 40! Kate Moss is seen here on the way to the first of FOUR birthday parties that are being thrown to celebrate her continuing existence. How come? What’s she done besides be emaciated and do tons of coke and bang rock stars? Who hasn’t? Katie partied at the Dorchester Hotel in London with boyfriend Jamie Hince and the rest of her “Primrose Hill” gang. Was Amy Winehouse invited? Probably not, because you know she’d be rifling through purses for drug money in the coatroom. I doubt her ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty was. Her house got coated with orchids and roses before she boarded the party train. Did she cure cancer and I wasn’t told? And Katie Holmes sent her some kind of bed. Maybe Katie’s planning on bunking down with her when she disembarks from the Cruise ship. So yeah, she will be attending four separate parties in her honor and winding up the night at her new home in St. John’s Wood. Dude, does she ever speak to her daughter? Damn, you see Katie with everyone but her child. Does the girl know who Kate is? She probably already knows how to mix drinks and light fags for her mom’s dawgs.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online/WENN

More photos of Kate Moss celebrating her 34th birthday are after the jump.